I've been waiting on my own too long
for nothing
but love
I'm no longer sure it even exists
With each possibility of opening up
with each possibility of falling deep
I start to feel how my heart gets torn
I close my eyes to beauty
I close my heart to affection
Love killed me
Yes, with love I always find my place among the ashes
So before I open up my arms and heart
before I pour out every dream inside my soul
before you kiss me on the lips
Prove to me that I can trust you
that I can sleep and know you will be there in the morning
that I can cry tears of joy for the first time
Prove to me that you are not going to make circles in my life.
I've been waiting on my own too long
I easily scare
I easily run
A white rose,
for a man that loved me so
but I returned a cold heart
I detested his love
the reason is still alien to me
A scornful gaze welcomed him home,
my tantrums haunted his mornings.
Until the day he walked out of the door
and never returned....
He was not the man for me.
A blue rose,
for a man I fancied....so rare
A love I was deceived to have found
My guard I let loose
liberating him into a monster
On my knees I served him,
On my back were wounds from lashing
when his temper skyrocketed
He learned the ways
to puppet a desperate woman....
until I round-kicked him unconscious
He was not the man for me.
An orange rose,
for a man I loved so
He loved me too
and this I know for sure
but he walked away nevertheless
Each thing in a skirt
had his tail wagging for a taste
His desires were unquenchable
Until I set all his belongings on fire...
that's when he realized that I meant business.
He was not the man for me
A yellow rose,
for a man that made me
ashamed of my own bodily desires
I was needy,
running from loneliness,
ready to take in anything.
I met the devil in person
My body was used
I hated my existence
I almost denounced life
until I buried a bullet in his skull.
He was not the man for me
A red rose,
for a man I never loved
but loved to be his destination
when he wanted to cheated on his wife
Our escapades were wilder
than animals in the Savannah
The intensity of not being caught
in his marital bed,
the mid-nights escapes
Breakfasting with sunrise
Life was such a delusion
until when he was given a chance to choose
I was left standing alone.....crying.
He was not the man for me
A black rose,
for a man I know so well.
Through think and thin
he has never let me go
for he knows deep down
I'm just as fragile
remove the scornful gaze,
the never ending tantrums,
desperation's subordination,
enslaving desires,
and settling for less,
under my coat of scared human skin
is a woman searching for love
Until I learned to love myself,
to treasure life
that's when I found love.
I'm the man for me.
I've been waiting on my own too long
