THANK YOU

I created this page to help me process my grief

Yes, it has been effective

I do not need this space anymore

Thank you for being here with me 

ART OF SELF SABOTAGE

 "I have been cleaning out my books and found these little lines that I wrote way back way when in 2018. So, I am leaving these here for safekeeping." 

Despite tremendous effort, my ground is always moving

I am in a constant state of panic

If my heart is not in loud palpations,

and my mind overbearing,

then I am not alive at all.

This is my normal;

always worried

always scared

I sold myself to the world

I sold myself for nothing

Now I must start fighting for me

until I break free

I need to break free

from myself.

..........

I have been by myself for so long

In fact, I have forgotten all those human instincts about belonging

When someone reaches out to me

I pour my focus on finding the fault

On doubting their generosity

On giving them a reason to run away

Because whenever people get too close

I feel caged in. 

..........

I can get myself back up

I have done it before

I can do it again

I may not be as strong

But there is one thing

which has not changed

I am still a fighter

I do not give up

I do not give in

I can keep myself afloat

like I have always done

I can hold my own hand