"I have been cleaning out my books and found these little lines that I wrote way back way when in 2018. So, I am leaving these here for safekeeping."
Despite tremendous effort, my ground is always moving
I am in a constant state of panic
If my heart is not in loud palpations,
and my mind overbearing,
then I am not alive at all.
This is my normal;
always worried
always scared
I sold myself to the world
I sold myself for nothing
Now I must start fighting for me
until I break free
I need to break free
from myself.
..........
I have been by myself for so long
In fact, I have forgotten all those human instincts
about belonging
When someone reaches out to me
I pour my focus on finding the fault
On doubting their generosity
On giving them a reason to run away
Because whenever people get too close
I feel caged in.
..........
I can get myself back up
I have done it before
I can do it again
I may not be as strong
But there is one thing
which has not changed
I am still a fighter
I do not give up
I do not give in
I can keep myself afloat
like I have always done
I can hold my own hand
