I feel so soft and I do not know why;
My fingers out compete the soft breeze at sea;
My lips are like those of a child;
My eyes are a calm bronze;
My body is a temple of innocence;
I feel so soft and I do not know why.
I feel so soft and I do not know why;
This softness I never had;
this softness I adopted,
To have those dreams I never had as a child;
about an innocent so pure,
an innocent so glorious;
To feel like a child again,
to kill the fastidious adult I became;
I feel so soft and I do not know why.
I feel so soft and I do not know why;
I lost the anger, the pain,
and the sleepless nights;
I lost the tears, the bad memories,
and the broken promises;
I let go and I learned the ways of the child;
I am free.
I feel so soft and I now know why.
In his last days, he had become a stranger.
Lines of age had eaten up his once handsome face.
May be it was sorrow.
Each line told a story,
One that would not settle well in the mind.
The sparkle in his bronze eyes was seldom seen,
and seldom never came.
Instead his gaze was smoky,
rather moist like he was on an infinite verge of tears.
He had become fond of looking blankly in a distance,
and did not seem happy with all.
The white smile never came,
even when he looked in the innocent face of his young.
His thick black hair was now a pale thin gray.
The bones seemed to hurt at sight.
His skin was almost transparent.
Clothes no longer fit.
He was like sand in the palm,
easily blown away by the wind.
I have known a man who was not the man I saw that day.
That man is so long gone.
Wherever he went...
it is quiet now.
It crept in to my life
through the window of my mind,
It twisted and turned
through the narrow opening;
I was ambushed by the unlikely enemy,
Or is that what I thought?
Had I been more careful,
I would not be here,
With curious eyes in my direction,
Envy in the depths of their ignorance,
Some wanting to knock it off my face,
Jealousy, the epitome of death.
They no longer consider me as their own.
I have dined with misery,
darkness,
and pain.
But, then I was lost.
It crept in to my life,
It came to stay,
Now I am considered the enemy
Because...
I found happiness,
I found GOD!
I might never get there,
My thoughts are scattered,
My sight is blurred,
I am devoured of all senses,
Am worse than dead.
This body...I should give up;
For a casket this fine,
I deserve not.
The life I lived made a grown man cry,
To be a proud advocate of HADES!
To drink all the tears in the bloody goblets.
I will therefore rest among the thorny shrubs.
If he is as kind as they say,
may be he will lift me to those green pastures.
The Lord is my Shepherd....
that I've learned the hard way.
I am miserable,
I am miserable,
I do not know why,
Perhaps, I dream too much,
Or I dream the wrong things,
May be I do not dream at all.
May be it is not about dreams,
Or the lack of them...
Perhaps, a null and void,
No other can fill...
Except my mind.This is one of the works of my best friend...TRACY KOBUKINDO
Little is said between us,
actually nothing is said between us.
But, I know you're there watching over every step I make, every turn I take.
I know you're there waiting to catch me when I fall,
to rub away my tears,
to embrace me when I'm scorned,
to guide me when I'm lost,
and to light my way through the darkest times.
I know you're there to love me.
But, why are you so kind to me?
All I have done is to throw it all back to you.
I have tossed and turned,
fought and screamed,
run and hidden just to shun away from you.
I have given anything to send you away,
yet at all times you've stood by me to cover me when I'm cold,
put a roof over my head when it rains,
filled my belly when I'm hungry,
and to put all my worst fears away.
Who am I for you to love me so?
You never rest till I rest,
you never dance till I'm happy,
you never give up till I have had it all,
and you never leave me even when I push you away.
Who am I to deserve you?
This is from me to you.
I am scared Yeit,
the clouds are leaving...
again
My people are crying,
I can hear their mourning in the wind,
I see their tears leave marks on the cracked soils,
My heart is heavy,
my heart worn out
by the pain of those I love the most.
I need you, Yeit,
please do not let us go,
Go where we will never return,
this land is our sanctuary,
do not let us lose it.
Take me,
they never hurt you,
I did.
I am weak, Yeit,
we are wasting,
Do not turn a deaf ear,
do not do nothing,
Let it come,
at least for one last time,
Then I will know my death is paid.
Life is something man can not describe.
It is a word forbidden from our lips until we reach last day when we ask ourselves whether we have lived a life,
fulfilled our rightful purpose as a part of the human race.
We go through life wondering and leave it wondering.
Too bad not one stays to answer any of our purposes for us.
A life once lost is a life gone.
It can not be bought back.
We are born dead.
Therefore, it is a personal battle to live that ultimate life or else...
you will waste away with out having lived.
GOD gives the breath of life and the rest is up to us...keep breathing.
Some take the breath and feast on it.
Everyday of their lives is a tale to tell.
They bring the breath in to light.
They have the actualization in life.
Some count on others to keep them alive, sucking life from them.
Tape worms of the human kind.
All they ever achieve is discovering the discovered.
But, there is a bright side to no work done, for nothing comes in a full circle.
Some where along the road, they die, just like that.
Some hate the breath and work harder to destroy it.
They tarnish the works of GOD.
They dim the brightness.
But then, there are those who have the breath but do not breath.
They are the static forms of the human kind.
They live between the addition-deduction theorem of life.
They are those who are neither yes-nor-no.
Life is something man can not describe.
Whichever path one takes, it is still called LIFE,
Isn't it?
My little girl, Tettany
sits under the oak tree every day,
counting suns,
passers-by,
to mention stars
when darkness come too soon.
She moves no limb
save for her hands
to point out those she loves the most.
She chooses the fairest,
wanted and,
most sought after,
because it is the only way to buy a dress.
Or, that is what her mother said
about little girls like Tettany
who lay so low,
not searching,
not wanting to discover what lies beneath...
the bellies of our fathers.
She stood in her majestic glory,
A light at her head,
Meandering whiteness at her feet,
Her face was bright
like the sun in the Savannah,
Her body was the epitome of grace,
Nothing could weaken her charm.
But, there were voices in the wind,
Voices that threatened the foundation
of her very existence.
The flicker in her eyes grew intense,
Her crystal tears fell fast,
She knew the end was near.
She remembered the days of her youth,
The brightness returned to her eyes,
She stood up for the
only thing that she knew best-pride.
She stood up for the very last time,
Before she was eaten away
in the darkness of hardening sorrow.
He taps my door, calling out softly,
"Ramses, Ramses, open the door."
I curl up in the corner,
widely eying the moving knob.
I am shaken to no color.
I am not ready.
I am not ready for the other side.
He hits my door, calling out loudly,
"Ramses, Ramses, open the door!"
I hold my knees tightly to my chest,
biting very hard into my lower lip.
My heart is too loud.
It is hurting my ears.
I cannot breathe.
He bangs my door, calling out angrily,
"Ramses, Ramses, open the door!"
I know that tone,
it weakens me,
it scares me.
I want to go but my legs are shaking terribly.
I support myself on the wall,
but keep falling.
I stay put
feeling betrayed by my own body
but most of all
feeling ashamed that I was about to give in.
Come to me, Cupid;
Grant me a new life.
Hang my old self on the stand;
I do not want to miss it when you go.
Shoot me with your finest arrow.
Do not let it go in too deep;
I have got to heal.
Come to me, Cupid.
Come to me, Cupid;
Aim for my right side;
I need to use my head.
Do not take me off my feet;
I need to stand up after the fall.
Take me under your wings;
Do not promise me forever.
Come to me, Cupid.
I can not sit down to write
because I have no strength for it.
I think...
I lost the love for everything I held so dear.
I loved to read and write,
laugh and cry,
kiss and break up,
reap and sow.
I loved all that GOD gave to man:
the sun, the moon,the stars, the water, the air.
I loved what man made as a co-creator:
the money, the cars, the houses, the clothes.
I loved all that made life complete.
I think, it is the love for life that I lost.
I spend my days like a living dead,
letting everything pass me by.
I do not care whether it rains or shines,
whether I'm loved or hated,
praised or condemned.
I do not care about the feelings I had in the good old days.
Have I even had those days?
It seems like forever since I woke up with a smile on my face,
thanked GOD for the day,
kissed my loved one,
walked on airs.
It seems like forever since I sang songs of praise.
I want my GOD back,
the ONE who gave me reason to live,
the thirst for life.
I want my GOD back to feel whole, to get my life back.
Where is GOD?
I feel so soft and I do not know why;
