I saw a tree once, The most beautiful of its kind; It stood firm; It stood tall; It's magnificent branches reached out to the heavens, It's enormous roots seemed to suck life out of the earth itself; But yet all around it life blossomed, from the flowers to the grass, shrubs and even crawlers, In the wind was the buzzing of the honey bees and singing birds, Its gigantic shade brought a heavenly coolness; and a spiritual healing in the falling leaves; I sought its comfort even in the gloom of winter; For it knew something that I did not; It was to stand firm no matter what was thrown your way.
I have resigned to saying and doing nothing; I prefer dealing with a better class of ideologies; I am tired of the ancient, for there is nothing new under the sun. I am at the point of self actualization; I have seen the pain and the joy; I have seen the tears and the laughter; I have seen the world on both sides of the rich and the poor; I have been places, there and back; I have read books small, big, old and concocted; I have seen thousands of days through winter, summer, autumn, spring, drought and famine; I have seen the wrath of wars lost and fruits of wars won; I have seen new life and dying life; I have tasted all concoctions of food man can come up with; I have loved and been loved; I have been a faithful victim to drugs, alcohol, smoking, and all other things man can master; I have hated, punished, blessed, celebrated achievements, been taken away by the talons of jealousy and adhered to deceit; I have seen the wonders and miseries of work, marriage and children; I have seen it all and I am TIRED!!! But if I go in to my cocoon of self-induced withdrawal from life, I will miss out on life; for even if the stars do not change...LIFE DOES; I have just lived. My cup is half empty or half full; whatever the case my be.
I always think to myself that if the devil took someone's heart and they wanted me dead; I would tell them not to shoot me through the head, because I do not want to go to the grave without them... my memories. It is the only thing I am permitted to take with me... to take with me to the darkness. When my last breath is taken, when my last word is spoken, when my time has stopped, I will have them, the memories of the life I had, the people I loved, the tears I cried, the successes I achieved. I will have those memories good or bad, Non-selective!!! For it is only the memories that will keep me going as I wait for the day I will see the gleam of the light again. The dead do dream... about you and me.
My navy blue sky has no stars; blank like an endless hole it looks back at me. My chest tightens and a huge lump forms in my throat; Forgive me for I might give up and cry because the misery of it all is unbearable; to know that there is no star to shine for you; to know that your sky will always be a plain facade; for it will give you no joy nor hope; no will to hang on nor the strength; no way forward nor the power of choice. It's like looming the earth with nothing to live for, with nothing for you to look at and say; "That's mine and I'm proud of it!" Sheer emptiness of the soul, that no matter how much you scream, no one will hear you. Until the end of time, you look up at the sky and all you see is how it cries for you on everything you do and... It will be blank.
It is heavily raining outside, something worse than just a storm. A mixture of the bellowing of thunder and the wrath of hail stones; not to mention the venomous winds. My window is blurred with all the heat my body can produce. But I like what I see because I do not want to scream, I do not want to scream when I see my death coming. For I know they are there... the trees. They love me in the scorching sun of summer, they hate me in the blizzard of the storm. They can not be trusted. I put all my trust in an unlikely hero, my little house built on a rock. With all the world against me, it will try to protect me... I THINK!!!
I saw a tree once,
