SOMETHING IS ALWAYS WRONG

Another week, I can’t get myself to pick up the phone

because I know what you will say

You’re busy with this or that

and that nothing is changed at all

But I know better

Something is always wrong

We need to work this out

But I can’t bring myself to fight

If we can’t even sit and communicate

Our minds have never be here at the same time

since I did what I did

Something is always wrong

You promised to catch me if I fell

that your anger towards me will fade

But it’s been ages

and a million apologies later

and you’re still the same

Something is always wrong

Should I move on?

I failed you for a fact

and I deserve the cold treatment

but I’m only human

and I’m tired of seeking your forgiveness

Tell me we’re over

Don’t keep me hanging on

If you think that…

Something is always wrong about us.

A LONG AWAITED DEMISE

I see a fraction of the moon ahead

dimming under the blanket of ferocious waves

As though ashamed to watch me drown

it hides behind a dark gray cloud

A reflection of heaven swims passed me

So beautiful, so shiny

It woes me with its long tentacles

but I keep going under

Down is where my soul belongs

I don't need your prayers

I don't need your tears 

I chose this death
to find some peace and quiet
from a life that drives me insane

to lay with the remains of my beloved
at the bottom of the sea.

Darkness engulfs me

as happy as a clown 
like it knew I was coming

Light becomes as distant as a bird over the horizon

The power of the sea bed crashes me to the bone

I gasp for whatever of life I have left
as the bitter sweet taste of death fills me up.

It's peaceful at the bottom of the sea.

A FINAL SONG

Walking away is the only choice
from a love we thought we had
to an illusion that had taken form
This is my song to you
a painful melody
but one I'm willing to sing

Now we can walk away in peace
a decision we both agreed
before it rains on our happy parade
A fantasy is all we had
It made us strangers
to the people we used to be
our friends looked away in shame

Now as we walk along separate paths
we regret not what we had
Friend-zoned is what remains
a lie we are telling ourselves
It will hurt a lot more
if we even come inches close
knowing we can't kiss...
or touch

Winds will sweep dust over our hearts
and eventually, forget this what we had
to heal the emptiness inside
This is my final song for you.

TRIUMPHANT

I walked in tatatata
He told me ssshhhhh!
My wife is in the kitchen
doing tokotoko on the gas
I smiled at him :)
He smiled at me :)
We rushed through the
back door ssshhhuuuu!!!
with car keys kling kling
the car started silently voom voom
then picked up VOOM VOOM!!!
bringing his mad wife to the window
yelling %&*&^%$#$#@!
We laughed so hard HAHAHAHA!
and sped off ZZZZOOOMMM!
The bass stereo was on full blast hard metal
doom doom dalala doom doom dalala
We were loving it kiss kiss mwah mmwwaaahh
We didn't hear the trailer peeeebeee
and before we knew it BANG!
I woke up in hospital ouch and OUCH!
everywhere bandaged weewuu weewuu
My boyfriend sat at the bedside snoring
zzzz ZZZ ZZZZZZZZ!!!!
Saliva dripping on to the floor tototo
I was disgusted eewww!
Then my man's wife came Oh shit!
I cringed in bed Oh no!
She held a photo of his casket in my face
and I was like MAAAMAAA NO!
She said Uh ha, you saved me a lot
did you know am the sole proprietor?
I was like UH?
She was like hmmm, he forgot to mention that.
I was like *&^$#$#@!
She smiled at me :D
I eyed her :"(
She walked away tatatata
I turned to my boyfriend
and he was still zzz ZZZ ZZZZZ!!!
I jeered ssssswwwwwwwwtttt!
He left me nothing!!!!

ROSES FOR YOU

I sit among the roses for you
they were your favorite
Red, white, yellow, orange, pink
and a seldom seen blue
You planted them with your bare hands,
sweating under the scorching sun,
not paying heed to the thorns,
because you knew of the wonders in its blossom
you knew of the beauty in a single rose

I sit in this thorn bush
because it's the sweat of your hands
it harbors memories of you
your smile so loving
your eyes so bright
your protection strength
your love unending
and you just you
planting roses around the house
around our hearts

I sit among the roses
because I am your rose
I will make your dreams come true
I will pass on your name
I will make you proud
I will plant more roses
but most of all....
I'm going to ensure that
Your Legacy Lives On!

We miss you Dad,
We miss you so much :"(
LOVE YOU FOREVER
your daughters; SON, SIN, NBS, GON, WHAMN and NEC

THIS IS LIFE

Time makes no sense.

Now it’s here, then it’s gone

it vanishes like a thief in the dark.

Days are shorter,

Nights are shortest

My schedule is crowded

My mind is confused

I spend hours trying to have things done

I spend days doing nothing

All seems important

All seems to have deadlines now

All is scattered on the floor

I can’t pick it all up

I’m drained with conflicting loyalties

My organizer committed suicide

My timetable ran off with the wind

Too much to be done in too little time

Life is long when chasing dreams

Life is short when chasing shadows

I’m scared death will call my name too soon

I’m more scared that even if I’m given 100 years,

I won’t get anything done.

I AM ME

I laugh, I yell
I sing , I dance
I want, I get
I seek, I find
I love, I hate
I praise, I scold
I curse, I nag
I shame, I hurt
I smile, I cry
I procrastinate, I lie
I forgive, I forget
I gossip, I backbite
I spend, I mise
I kiss, I tell
I fume, I sink
I fight, I lose
I whine, I weep
I win, I boast
I hug, I comfort
I wish, I dream
I plan, I fail
I move, I heal
I promise, I abandon
I crush, I stalk
I live, I die
I am human
I am me.

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE

Tell me what you know about life's many mysteries
Tell me what you know about the night life and immorality
Tell me what you know about dreams and cheap money
Tell me what you know about lost hopes and insanity
Tell me what you know about earning on your back
Tell me what you know about the easy way to happiness
Tell me what you know about the red-light district
Tell me what you know about diseases and rubber
Tell me what you know about con artists and pick pockets
Tell me what you know about whores and assholes
Tell me what you know about drunkards for parents
Tell me what you know about cocaine and tequilas
Tell me what you know about clubs that never close
Tell me what you know about people who never sleep
Tell me what you know about clubs and regrettable hook-ups
Tell me what you know about beauty and prostitution
Tell me what you know about about cross-generation sex
Tell me what you know about dark corners and rapists
Tell me what you know about mobs and the darkness
Tell me what you know about night duty and hustlers
Tell me what you know about teenagers and gangsters
Tell me what you know about orgies and guilt
Tell me what you know about the morning after pill
Tell me what you know about the children of tomorrow
Tell me what you know about this life we are living.

SLEEPLESS

I lay in bed
without sleep
I think of a story
without compassion
I build sand castles
but they all tumble down
I count sheep
without an end to numbers
I think of a lullaby
without a tune
I summon dreams
on a weak spell
I find a posture
without comfort
I close my eyes
over a psychotic mind
I twist and turn
without tiring
I yearn for quiet
with the ticking clock
I dream of rest
with eyes wide open
I can't sleep
because I worry too much
about not sleeping.

SUNSHINE

I'm waiting for sunshine
but I don't know how
to keep warm through this winter
or to smile through its gloom
I don't know how
to stand through this storm
or to find the purity in the snow
I'm losing my grip on patience
and lady-luck knows not my name
I'm giving up on it all
because to wait for this sunshine
is as aimless as running after shadows.

GOD TALKS TO ME

God talks to me,

No, I’m not insane

But He does talk to me

No, not about you or the world

But about me

And only that matters to me

So don’t ask me about your future.

I’m no physic

God talks me

We find ourselves talking about loads of things

Most times people have found me muttering to myself

I smile at the invisible

I can suddenly burst out in tears

I can attack both physically and verbally for no cause

Yes, I do fight with my God.

We are like family.

We biker,

We yell,

We scold,

We give each other silent treatments

Yet, we love equally as much.

God talks to me,

Not when I’m in need only

We talk when I’m happiest the most

Because when I’m sad,

It comes naturally that we don’t talk

For a good friend knows when to keep quiet and just listen.

God talks to me.

IF WE REALLY HAD TO LOVE US

If I really had to love you

You wouldn’t be my first choice

‘cuz you know how to hurt me

You know how to make me want you

You know how to make me mad

You know how to love me

Yet you know how to knock me off my feet

If you really had to love me

I would be you first choice

‘cuz I’m the gal you mama warned about

I will make you beg on bended knees

I will make run in circles

I never make up my mind

I will run off with others just to prove

that I can leave without you

I will test you for life itself

I will want you to show me over and over again

how much you love me

I will make you tired of us

If we really had to love us

Guess it will be worse than karma

We will just torment each other

We will cry forever

We will yearn for more

yet we we’ll give so little

‘cuz we can’t love each other

We’re like night and day

We’re never meant to be.

POSSIBILITY

I loath the thought of possibility

a possibility of anything for that matter

I resign myself to inner wars

Hope dares not interrupt

It led me here after all

I let myself be deceived

that things wouldn't be the same

I let myself follow blindly

the hopes from a troubled past.

I had thought for an instant

just this once....

that it would be different

that I would in fact

get that one thing I wanted the most

How stupid is a mind of a child-at-heart

to even have such a wish

like the times before gave me as much

How naive can I be

to think of a possibility where it's possible for me

to feel something good

but.....

like all the times before being here

only presents with one possibility.....

It will bring me no such peace.

A DAY IN AUGUST

A day in August...

He set for us;

the judge with a tyrant's tongue

yet he's our only protection

from the snatch-y hands of our creditors

and a sudden wipe off this earth

We don't know how it came to this.

We don't know why it came to this

that our very friends could stab us

right where it hurt the most,

that they could let us drown in waters

infested by loan-sharks.

Feelings must have been mutual

but greed lies behind many faces

Now we search the world with no prevail

We're constantly watching our backs for their dogs,

even a neighbor can't be trusted.

But, how we trust....

when we can't even trust ourselves?

We fight and bicker at any given opportunity

always searching for a dark spot in snow

We hate so fast

We love too slow

We have become exactly what they wanted

despite our innocent conscience,

They're weakening our family ties

for they know of the strength we can have in numbers.

We're growing apart with each rising sun

We're letting them win come that day in August.